I’ve heard from my manager to never use it, I’ve experienced the drag it can have on a relationship, I often overuse it, and Richard Hoover may say that it serves as a sign of weakness. The phrase is “I’m sorry.”
I rarely realize how much I use the phrase until I make a set of mistakes and feel hopeless to try and get myself out of the rut it creates. I’ve addressed the overuse of the phrase by both parties in a previous relationship and it finally hit me when I told my manager the phrase one day and he instructed me to never use it, or if you have to, to choose wisely. This refers to interactions with clients especially, but also internally in any organization, team, or relationship. It doesn’t necessarily show a sign of weakness, and even thought it has an air of sympathy about it, actions will often speak louder than words. Just correcting the problem, how you deal with the situation, and the way you handle the next time your placed in a similar scenario all very accuratley reflect the lessons learned from your mistakes.
And along the line of mistakes, we all make a ton of them. Some more than others. And more often than not, I’ve felt like I make countless mistakes that I feel an obligation to correct. The important thing is that it is in the past. The mistake is not only a mistake, but a lesson. We are all to familiar with the way our parents and teachers teach us that a mistake is a lesson the first time you do it, and the second time you do it, it is a mistake. I agree entirely, even though I refuse to let the phrase, “I’m sorry” be released from my vocabulary. It’s important to let the parties involved with your mistake know that you learned from the mistake, but again, actions are a great way to repair nearly any sticky situation. Plus, designers and problem solvers often make plenty of mistakes early on in the development process in order to get the final product as accurate as possible to fulfill the functionality needed.
So, think through it first, make sure you’re prepared, don’t waste too much time, and get in there and make a few mistakes. I once heard of the event where a new hire had the opportunity to make a decision worth $100,000 to the company. While the decision she made was incorrect, when she went to her boss in tears and asking if she would be fired, her boss replied that there’s no way he would fire her because he just spent $100,000 on her education. If we learn from those mistakes, the best is yet to come. More mistakes, more education.
I’m sorry = I understand what I’ve done or said, how it impacted you, and how I won’t do that to you again. Words are spoken first to acknowledge the above steps, actions must follow before words lose meaning.
You are aware of this… and personally – you are great with actions. Thank you for being so wonderful <3
Trent – nice post mate. my personal belief is similar- saying “sorry” is important, but it should never be said more than once per incident lest anyone doubt the sincerity. Men, it should be noted, make the mistake of overusing it farrrr too often. Hope all is well!
-Jake